Today at New Heights Church, in both the Summit and the NHSM services, we did what we call Love, Sex, and Dating or LSD. In the past it's been done in the evening, but this year it was decided to make a whole sermon series out of it and have the panel discussion as part of the final part of the series. Unfortunately, that left us a bit short on time for the NHSM service, and I believe a very large number of really good questions went unanswered. So, I brought my question cards home (I had four of them in my hand when we had to quit) and I'll answer them for you here because they are excellent questions (that's why I chose them out of the Agape Jug) and they need to be answered, especially for the people who asked them, but also for everyone else who needs to hear them.
The first two questions are very closely tied together, and you'll see why. The first question was "What do you do if your boyfriend/girlfriend pressures you for sex?" The second question was "Did you remain pure until you were married?" You may be able to see how these two questions are related, because if the first answer isn't "dump them," the second answer will be "no."
If your bf/gf pressures you for sex, drop them like a rotten watermelon from a third floor balcony. If this person is doing this to you, they obviously don't respect you. What else are they going to pressure you on? Do you really want to date someone who doesn't respect you? If they find they can do it successfully, they'll do it again, and with other things. Women are especially susceptible to this. God created them with the desire to serve and to please their husbands, but girls, if you let that God given desire to be a good wife be fulfilled in someone who is not your husband, you are selling your self short. Guys, the same goes for you. This is what happened to me.
This leads me to the second question. I did not remain pure until I got married. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I'll go ahead and give you the cliched "if I could do it over again..." I was lured in by a girl who would do whatever I wanted to do, but the difference was, she wanted to go further than I did, but I was the type who was wandering around looking for the line to not cross and in my wandering, she easily lured me over the line.
Please listen to me. Don't give yourself away to someone who doesn't respect you. Don't invest your time and soul into someone who just wants some physical pleasure out of you. They are selfish, and on the tiny chance you get married, nothing will change. I've been there before, you get one chance, only one. Like Josh said today, God can heal all things, but that doesn't mean there won't be scars.
The third question I had was "Is oral sex, sex." Let's look at this one grammatically. We have a noun modified by an adjective. The noun is sex, the adjective is oral. It's still sex, it's just a special kind. Remember who the person is, they are your brother or sister in Christ, you don't want to be doing that with your brother or sister do you? If all else fails, you can ask Bill Clinton. No, ask Hillary, she'll probably give you a better answer.
The fourth question was "Is it ok to french kiss?" Isn't that what oral sex is? No? Oh...
Like I said, you don't want to kiss your sister. I do think it is ok to hold your sister's hand from time to time, if you are close. I think a kiss of greeting on the cheek or something like that is also ok, if it is your custom. Platonic hugs are also ok. A good question to ask yourself is if you'd do this with a close acquaintance of either gender, such as say, your sister, or someone elses wife because unless you marry her, that is what she'll end up being.
If it's ok to do in public with your sister, it's ok in my book. In fact, I think you should be doing it in public.
P.S. If you leave comments, please do not use my real name, I'll have to delete your post. But please do leave questions and comments.