Monday, December 28, 2009

Movie Review: Religulous

Yesterday, I watched Bill Maher's Religulous. I did it not because I want to disprove religion, which he does, and Islam, and Judaism, but I wanted to know what he was all about. I did know a bit, but it's just really interesting to see public figures and paid religious professionals stumble and bumble with questions with obvious answers if they were really honest. But they can't answer the real answer because it doesn't mesh with their lifestyle.

One section I found particularly interesting was the chapter on the DVD entitled "God and Country" if I remember correctly. Bill started the section by asserting that in Jesus' world view, there is no room for nationalism. This is one point where I agreed with Bill immediately. As a true follower of Jesus, there is no "God and Country." There is only God. You want to be a patriot, whatever, but your allegiance lies with God alone when it all comes down.

If you like to see religious people squirm, you'll like this movie. Beware, if you are a conservative Christian, or a very religious person, this movie will make you squirm. It made me sick to my stomach to see all these people claiming to be Christians rather than defending the truth, defending their religion. It was horrific to hear all the really bad answers.

Overall, I'd give this movie about 7/10 based on how it was done, editing, writing etc. But if you are a Christian, this is a must see just because you need to be exposed to this kind of thing.


Sunday, December 6, 2009

Made in the USA Product of the Day

Today's product: DeKuyper's Sour Apple Pucker.

Man do I love this stuff. You see, I drink a little bit of alcohol because statistically speaking, moderate drinkers do better in life, have more fun, make mor money, live longerr etc. But I don't like wyne or beeer. So back win I were a teenager (shhhhhh!) I discoverd appel puker nd is gud stiff.

Plush as wee al kno, Jesus drank two!

P.S. This post demonstrates simulated drunkenness. I was a no point impaired in most of the usual ways. "What the eff does that mean" you say? Exactly.

Question of the Day

Question: Where did Coffee come from?

Answer: I can't figure this one out. It's like somebody went out in the forest, found this small spindly tree and said "Hey, lets pick these fruits off here, but don't eat them, strip the fruit off the seed and then dry the seed. Then bake it, now I know what you're going to say, but stick with me, this is where it gets good. After you bake it, grind it up real fine. Then run hot water through it, then drink the water, but make sure to drink it while it's still hot otherwise it will taste just as bad but it will be cold. It will wake you up in the morning just as good as say, an apple, but you don't have to worry about flavor or worms."

I can figure out how we got wine, but how we got coffee is beyond me.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Is Satan Green by Thomas D. Rowley

Is Satan Green?

By Thomas D. Rowley*

In the three years since PBS’ Bill Moyers asked “Is God Green?” the answer from American Christendom has become a resounding “yes!” Proclaimed by everything from eco-friendly Palm Sunday fronds to the soy-based, Kermit-hued ink in the Green Bible, God’s color has been decided.

But what about Satan’s?

I know. I know. Talk of the devil these days is déclassé. Too fire-and-brimstone for our post-everything mindset. Plus, everyone knows he’s red with horns, tail and a pitchfork. Right? But what if C.S. Lewis were still uncovering missives from that diabolical Undersecretary of Temptation, Screwtape to his nephew and Junior Tempter, Wormwood? What might that reveal about Hell’s slant on the environment? With apologies to Lewis, perhaps something like this…

My Dear Nephew:

I see a certain despondence in your last correspondence. The long-delayed awakening of Christians to the Enemy’s directive to steward the Earth has gotten you down. Particularly, the awakening of that pesky group called evangelical Christians--a label that writers of the New Testament might well have thought redundant! Do not let it. As with all surges of that army, this, too, can be redirected. Confusion is the order of the day, dear Wormwood. Confusion!

To begin with, keep striking the chords that have proven so successful for us already. Keep your patients focused on the politics of it all--feeding the notion that the Enemy simply could not mean them to side with those they growlingly call “tree-hugging liberals.”

At the same time, nag them with doubts about science; keep them asking, albeit subconsciously, how something associated with abortion and evolution (thanks to your good works, Nephew) could ever be trusted?

Play, too, the note that says “it will all burn anyway, and the sooner the better.” Ah, there’s nothing finer than bad theology mixed with hopelessness for turning them aside.

Finally, addle their puny brains with false dichotomies: Surely, they cannot evangelize and care for the poor, for example, while also stewarding nature! Needless to say, you must keep hidden from them the indisputable facts that nature sings so disgustingly of the Enemy who created it and that upon nature the poor of the world so heavily depend.

As always, keep them from thinking deeply on any of these matters. There lies our undoing! Instead, fill their minds with the busyness of life—the grocery list, the children’s piano lesson or the church committee meeting. Should you detect a serious thought forming, however, simply give a nudge that now is the perfect time to text message, email or turn on some enlightening talk radio. Oh, how I love that last one! What victories it has given us!

Should these attempts fail to keep them off balance and ignoring the Enemy’s directive, we, too, can become green—at least our own shade of it. Here, I, of course, mean money, that ancient yet infallible tempter. How they love their money! Forgetting as they so laughably do that it is not theirs and that the Enemy has warned them again and again about what He ridiculously refers to as idolatry. I’ve also learned of a new shade of green developed by our labs: that of the perfect green lawn. How delightful! The illusion of health and beauty fostered by poison, copious amounts of precious water, and the weekly toiling behind a deafening, fume-belching machine! Brilliant! Simply, brilliant!

Above all--and I really shouldn’t have to warn you of this--keep them from opening that dastardly book the Enemy gave them! Rare indeed is the patient who can be retrieved once he has devoted himself to study there.

Finally, make sure to keep our correspondence secret. Human ignorance of our plans is one of our very best weapons. Nevertheless, should this letter leak to the press, I am confident that misunderstanding and emotion (never forget the power of emotion) will cause such a disturbance that you and I will be dismissed as the depraved imaginings of some witless human writer.

As always, your affectionate (and green if need be) uncle


*Rowley is Executive Director of A Rocha USA, a nonprofit conservation organization mobilizing Christians to steward the Earth. For more information, please see